DESIRE is the place where we see all possibility. It’s also butted up against FEAR — where we see every possible disastrous result.
The collision point is that teeny-tiny micron of space between DESIRE and FEAR. It’s the sweetly bitter spot where great expansion and change, or contraction and collapse of faith happens. It is the moment of decision where you are in control and you get to make the choice. You can turn left to DESIRE or turn right to FEAR. The choice is yours.
You’ll know when you’ve found that spot because you stand like a tightrope walker, balanced on the thin line between following your desire and smothering it with fear.
As soon as we hear the whisper of our heart, we can feel ourselves inflating with possibility and the dream of what could be. We see only the end result. We can feel it, we can taste it, we can see it.
And then along comes fear, popping our dreams with a big 'ol pin.
FEAR POKES HOLES INTO POSSIBILITY BY ASKING...
HOW will you make this happen?
HOW will you feel when you fail?
WHAT makes you think you can do this?
WHY would you put yourself at risk of disappointment?
WHO are you to think you can do this?
Before you know it, all the times you were disappointed — by not doing it well enough, receiving a ho-hum reception to something you were immensely proud of accomplishing, or an endeavor in which you FAILED miserably, floods into your mind.
Suddenly, your Desire has gone cold, and Fear has taken over.
WRITE THIS: When was the last time you felt the force of Desire pull you towards it, while at the same time feeling FEAR grabbing onto you so tight from behind you couldn’t move — you were “frozen” in place? What was it about the DESIRE that was so compelling? Name the FEAR that held you back from following your desire.
WRITE THIS: Do you remember a time when you were a kid. and you ached for something so bad it was the first thing you thought of when you woke up — and the want of it accompanied you to sleep at night? Then, you were told “No” in no uncertain terms, and you believed deep in your heart you would not get it. Write about that one time, or list all the disappointments of being told, “No.” Write about how it felt to you as a child. How have you brought this forward into adulthood?
CHRISTMAS 1970: THE EASY-BAKE OVEN
I remember when I was about 9, I wanted an Easy-Bake Oven so much, as soon as the Sears Christmas Wishbook came out, I started hounding my mother to get it for me for Christmas. Her answer was always "No. It will be too messy.” “No. It’s too expensive.” “No. You haven’t been good this year.” (I heard you’re not worthy, you’re not good enough, you’re bad.)
When I was younger and still believed in Santa, she would have said, “You’ll have to wait to see what Santa brings,” and so there was always hope. But each time Mom said “No,” fear that I wouldn’t get this ultimate gift grew inside me. Eventually, I stopped asking because it hurt too much to be constantly told “No” to something so important to my 9-year-old self. I was afraid to be disappointed.
I became convinced I wouldn’t get my Easy-Bake Oven. I tried to stop wanting it, but deep-down inside, it was still my heart’s desire. Every time the desire rose up in me, I kept pushing it down, until eventually, I stopped being excited about Christmas at all.
When Christmas Day came, I wasn’t expecting much because fear had smothered my desire. When it came time to opening the huge box under the tree, I think I was dumbfounded more than I was excited. I couldn’t understand how it was possible that my mother said “No,” and yet, there it was.
Later that day, when my cousin came over for Christmas dinner, I do remember baking a cake in the basement and being thrilled to watch it rise through the tiny oven window. Sadly, as soon as the little packets of cake mix ran out, so did my enthusiasm for my Easy-Bake Oven. I can’t help but wonder if, after being told “No” so many times, that gift (with all it's strings and baggage) was a constant reminder that I was fundamentally bad?
This is how denying our desires makes us lose faith and belief — in ourselves.
CHOOSE DESIRE OVER FEAR
When you find something in your life that you really, really want to do — like learning to play the piano, you have a passion that you’re dying to turn into a business, you’re invited on a trip to celebrate a milestone birthday with your bestie and you really want to go — Fear is going to pay a visit. Guaran-damn-teed.
You may not be able to stop Fear from showing up, but you ABSOLUTELY DO HAVE THE CHOICE as to whether you are going to allow her to decide for you, or whether you say yes to Desire.
kathy mercure is a storyhealer, storylistener, and storyteller. Her life’s work is to gently draw stories from her students and help them unblock their writing, find their voice, and heal their lives. Her passion is to support women and men in realizing their true identity as a valued human being, claiming their passions, and speaking their truth as they become their most authentic selves. (Photo by EagleSpirit Soul Shots)