That knock upside the head

I have realized, yet again, that I am a worrier-througher. I think it’s one of the reasons I prefer to work alone, rather than in a team. I can control myself (sort of) but when I’m at the mercy of others’ schedules and motives, I struggle to surrender and float. PIN to read or save for later

Last week was a rollercoaster of a week… I started writing this newsletter on Monday, and then had a meltdown, so I’m only picking it up now that I have some understanding of what it was all about.

As I mentioned last time, I was offered a conditional full-time position as a customer care operator for a Canadian aviation company. I quickly provided my form for the criminal records check and two references that were required in order to confirm the offer. And there has been one ‘thing’ after another ‘thing’ to overcome ever since.

I also l spoke for the first time ever, to a large group of people at the New Brunswick Breast and Women’s Cancer Partnership event, the Well-Being InterACTION Forum. I also did a mini-journaling workshop in the afternoon. AND, I got to attend a healing ceremony with some women from the Esgenoopetitj First Nation of Burnt Church, New Brunswick (I think, and I apologize profusely if I’m wrong). Yet, even there, I struggled. One of the things that I struggled with was clarity about what was happening throughout the day, so that I could be on time and finish on time. It was only when I was speaking from my heart, and listening from my soul that a part of me wasn’t worrying about some little detail or other.

I won’t go into this week ad nauseam, but let me just say that I spent all last week struggling to let go of control.

 

Moi? A Control Freak?!

Oh yes... I have realized, yet again, that I am a worrier-througher. I think it’s one of the reasons I prefer to work alone, rather than in a team. I can control myself (sort of) but when I’m at the mercy of others’ schedules and motives, I struggle to surrender and float. So, for going on three days I’ve been anxious and fretful.

And you know what, my hearing that my little job is ending at the end of the week was so that I could step into my new job. And the anxiety of not having enough money to get through the month because my job ended two weeks before I was ready, has been replaced by the euphoria of having unexpected money come in that will more than cover it. And not wanting to give my current job as a reference and now my job ending so it isn’t a problem — all of these things have been to show me that everything is happening exactly as it needs to, in order for me to step into the next phase of my life — whether in this aviation industry job OR SOMETHING BETTER.

And the lesson I've received AGAIN is that it's all about my why… the decision to take on a real job is to relieve the pressure on myself and my passion so that I can be myself and simply flow into who I am meant to be.

Sometimes we have to be told the same thing over and over again by more than one person to finally get it. Well, thanks Spirit for the knock upside the head. I'm pretty certain I got it now, but I know you'll remind me if I forget again — when I allow and surrender, life is just sooooooooo much easier!

 

Maybe life is really about the dance?

All these aha moments from this week that came to me today are telling me to keep surrendering and floating with the current rather than swimming against it, are making me really think — and get really teary…

And just now, in today’s mastermind call with my coach, she ended with this video I’m sharing. And I get it now...

The whole purpose of life is to experience (actually feel, hear, see, smell, and touch) it. The whole purpose of dancing is the connectedness and movement. The whole purpose of music is the listening.

When we are always looking at the end game — to get to retirement so we can finally enjoy life, to work our way around the room in precisely the right series of steps, to get to the end of the song — that's when we miss the thousands of little moments of joy, and laughter, the tears, and the lessons that life is really about.

So, maybe we should put less effort into achieving goals that may not make us feel any different — any worthier or any happier at the end (especially if the end goal is a 'thing') — and focus on the why of the goal and the thousands of lessons, experiences, and moments of joy we can have along the way if we open our eyes, our ears, and our hearts to receive them.

It's still a journey to me... but the journey is the journey to be experienced to it's fullest, because, when we listen with our ears, our hearts, and our bodies, we learn, discover, grow, cry, laugh, and dance so much more...

What do you think?


It all begins with a dot

Have you ever wanted to explore your feelings through art? I've been wanting to bring art journaling into my personal practice for years and I know that many of the people that I help will see images as they write, so why not offer a workshop for people that live in the Greater Moncton area?

I'm so excited about trying some art journaling! Why? I'm definitely a words kinda gal, but there is something so freeing about the idea of doing art. If I\ say if you write, you are a writer, then I can say that if I draw, I am an artist. 

Last year about this time, I got cajolled into trying painting by a friend who wanted to go to a Paint Nite. It completely blew me away that I could create a painting that was recognizable. And so I did it again with my hubby and we both loved it!

The last time I had tried was in the late 80s. I adore watercolour for its delicacy and so I took a course. On our first night we were asked to paint a 'draw-down' I think it was called, which is essentially starting with full colour on a page and gradually reducing the amount of colour so that it fades to beautiful nothingness (maybe it's also called a 'wash'?). Well, I chose red because, well, I LOVE COLOUR! I remember the art teacher coming up behind me — and she bloody actually sighed and then tsk'd me!

I'm not kidding you! She tsk-shamed me!

Well, that just made me defiant and so every week after that for the two weeks I continued to go before I was too demoralized to show my face, I used only bold colours to show her I didn't care what the 'f' she thought about how I chose to express myself. All those times of being told I wasn't good enough at arithmetic, at chemistry, at problem-solving, because I didn't have the kind of mind that could easily do that (I can't tell you how much coaching I had to have to get through the multiplication tables and long division!). You see, I was a child of words even back then.

But, those two Paint Nites I did last year sparked a desire for me and the realization that I could do art simply for art's sake AND I LOVED the feeling of getting lost in it. I was completely engrossed. And I was okay that it wasn't perfect. I was doing it for the love of it. The Wild Woman in me doesn't give a flying fig what people think about how I chose to express myself — and my journaling needs to include some art. How about yours?

But what's that about the dot, you ask?

Mandala Dot.png

Well, Joanne Richard, who loves to draw and paint, will tell you in our upcoming Art and Meditation of Mandala Journaling Workshop will not only be showing us how to draw a mandala, she'll be telling us about the history and spiritual journey of mandala art and why it's such a beautiful form way to connect with your soul.

The thing about drawing mandalas (see the image below for a really fancy example) is that it is a meditative exercise that quiets the mind and creates the perfect scenario for hearing the wisdom of your soul. So, when you're taking the time to draw the petals of the lotus, for example, you'll also be hearing messages from your soul, and jotting down words, phrases, and wisdom you hear.

Mandala Journaling... get it?!

I know, right?! It's so good!

In this three-hour workshop, Joanne will start you out with a dot in a circle and I'm pretty sure she'll tell you that the dot represents our belly-button — the centre of our being — because that's how she explained it to me.

Me, well, I hope to do some mandala drawing with you, but I also will be there to help you quiet your mind with a guided meditation, talk about journaling and why it's so good for your soul to be heard, and share with you after we're done our session. We might be able to do two mandalas in the time we have, or we can also choose to have fun colouring the mandalas we created. All supplies are included, but you're welcome to bring your own as well.

And you know what? Mandalas are like journaling — you just go wherever it takes you... If you want to go free-form, go free-form. We promise to only encourage and incite you to follow your heart. You'll get no tsk-ing from me or Joanne!

So, when and where is this amazing, fun, and inspiring mandala journaling workshop?

Sunday, November 19th at 1:00 PM

ALZHEIMER SOCIETY OFFICES
1070 ST GEORGE BLVD #2B, MONCTON, NB E1E 4K7

To find out more and to join us for this lovely Sunday afternoon of self-care, simply click on the image below and it will take you to my website.


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kathy mercure is a storyhealer, storylistener, and storyteller. Her life’s work is to gently draw stories from her students to help them find their voice and nurture their Wounded Wild Child through journaling. Her passion is to support women in realizing their true identity as Wild Women, claiming their passions, and speaking their truths as they become their most authentic selves. (Photo by EagleSpirit Soul Shots)