When I was working with my wild women in my 7-Day Wild Woman Journaling Challenge last week (and still) I felt these nestlings in my group were finding their way. I felt overwhelming love and protection for them. And as the week progressed and the day's journaling questions got deeper and asked more of them, they so needed my encouragement and my ability to see them for the divine wild women they already are. And on the last day, when we wrote about what their personal vision of their own wild woman was, I knew these fledglings were ready to fly. I felt so proud of them for embracing their beautiful souls and seeing the possibilities. It was an exhausting process.I put so much of my heart into it.
And today I feel, it was as much for me as it was for them.
There is so much around the mother wound, the mother legacy that makes us who we are.
Today I wish my own mother were here too so I could fold myself into her fleshy comforting embrace, but she comes to me in spirit and I can feel her presence as I write this. I wish I had more pictures of my mother as she got older, but I didn’t take them, feeling as though she would always be there. And the ones I have, make me cringe a bit because my body is so like hers and some days I don’t want to face that truth.
I am my mother. Even though I chose not to be a biological mother, I mother. And I am learning that I can take the beautiful parts of my mother, use her medicine, and leave the rest behind.
My mother died far too young — filled with regret and shame. As much as I wish she were still here, it was her ultimate gift to show me that her way was not the path for me. I don’t have to be my mother in all ways. I am a wild woman in my heart and I am growing to accept all of my bits, bringing the shadow to the light and letting it go of it all. It is one of the steps in embracing the wholeness of me so that I can refine and re-envision who I want to be as a Wild Woman Crone.
Today is a day for gentleness… My heart is tender and wide open. Today I won’t stop the tears that want to fall. I have earned them.
Today I will mother myself.
kathy mercure is a storyhealer, storylistener, and storyteller. Her life’s work is to gently draw stories from her students to help them unblock their writing, find their voice, and heal their lives. Her passion is to support women in realizing their true identity as wild women, claiming their passions, and speaking their truth as they become their most authentic selves. (Photo by EagleSpirit Soul Shots)