My heart goes out to people who believe that fear is their enemy.
How can that be true? It’s not an external thing that we can kick the shit out of, annihilate, shut it the ‘f’ up, or kill. If we do, we are kicking the shit out of, annihilating, shutting up, or killing — a part of ourselves.
Fear is a part of our being. It is not bad. It is not good. It simply is… Fear is only the meaning we attach to it.
Physical fear is a warning
The fear response of Fight/Flight/Freeze is deeply ingrained in our human beingness. It’s what has preserved our species since the humans became humans. Physical fear is our primitive brain hyper-focusing that something unusual is happening. The hair on our bodies rises, a light sweat breaks out on our forehead, our muscles tense, our ears become highly sensitive, our heart beats faster, adrenaline floods into our bloodstream, our mouth dries, and our eyes laser in. Our senses are alerting our brain to possible danger. Our primitive brain in hyper focus mode, waiting for our brain to assess if the danger is real.
The same things often happen when we experience emotional fear. Our past experiences with a horrible public speaking experience, for example, can make us believe that emotional fear is real. But emotional fear is not real, it is a learned behaviour that we likely learned early on in our lives. We learned to fear public speaking by stumbling once and that experience compounding until we avoid it like the plague.
Emotional fear is a calling
Emotional fear may seem every bit as frightening as physical fear, but it’s emotional, not physical, and therefore, isn’t life or death threatening. But still, it feels so real we can believe we’ll die if we stand up in front of an audience to speak.
The antidote to your emotional fear of doing something that you’ve had an unpleasant experience from — is courage. You must walk through that fear and do the very thing you are so afraid to do. If public speaking is your fear, join a group that helps you to do just that in a safe and supportive setting. You won’t be perfect the first time, but every time you stand up and speak your words, you’re building resilience. It becomes a little less scary. If toddlers stopped trying to walk after their first attempt and failure… well, you can imagine that. Toddlers learn by trying, they keep trying until they master walking.
Just like the day I taught myself to ride my next door neighbour’s old red bicycle. I was scared but determined. I had a stretch of grass that was relatively safe to fall on (and I did, lots of times). That afternoon, I practiced until I could do a few wobbly revolutions of the pedals and then the entire length of our two neighbouring yards and back. I wasn’t perfect by the time my mother called me in for dinner, but I was so proud to tell my parents that I had taught myself how to ride a bicycle that day. And so excited when I received my very own magenta bike with the flowered banana seat, chopper handlebars, and tassels streaming from the handgrips for my birthday a short while later.
Fear is the call of desire
Do you have something that deep inside you that you yearn to do? A calling to a more purposeful life? Travel to distant lands? To learn how to paint watercolours? Start your own business?
These kinds of callings are not coming from our brains. They are a visceral pull to stepping into our greatness that comes directly from our soul. We are filled with hope, excitement, joy. Until Fear comes in and says, “No, no, no! You can’t do that! What if you fail? I’m only trying to protect you.” In an instant, our hope, excitement, and joy turns to dread, anxiety, and sadness because we are not like everyone else — we are not brave, strong, determined. We tell ourselves, “I’m not good enough, strong enough, talented enough, smart enough, skinny enough…” You get the point.
You are enough
It's human nature for most of us to fear the unknown. It’s scary not to know what lies ahead of us in the Chasm of the Unknown. Standing on the precipice of change, all we can see is darkness and uncertainty.
But your heart is calling and she’s telling you that you are enough — you can do this.
You're worthy of your heart’s desire, but it’s not going to be handed to you. You must move toward desire. It may be the scariest thing you will ever do, but imagine lying on your deathbed looking back over your life and feeling haunted — not by what you did — but what you didn’t do.
If you struggle to answer the call of your heart because you’re dwelling in fear, I can help. I invite you to attend my webinar to sample just a small taste of Break Free. In this one-hour webinar I will teach you three techniques to keep moving through your fear.
3 Ways to Move Through Fear
Sunday, April 23, 2017 at 1:00 PM Eastern Time
In this live, interactive webinar:
- I’ll tell you what fear is and what it’s not.
- I’ll share two easy techniques I use myself nearly every day that will help you to navigate your way through the anxiety of an unexpected visit from Fear, or through the fear that comes when you’re heading into a challenging situation.
- In the third method, I’ll demonstrate an in-depth series of steps you can take to get back on track and moving toward your desires when fear has derailed you.
- And finally, I’ll share a bit about the work that we will do together in Break Free From Fear.
There will be special fast action discounts and bonuses offered for a short time.
My heart’s desire and my purpose as a storyhealer is to help women to break free from what’s holding them back and take action towards their dreams — using journaling as a tool. Please join me for this fun, informative learning experience.
To reserve your spot, please sign up here:
kathy mercure is a storyhealer, storylistener, and storyteller. Her life’s work is to gently draw stories from her students and help them unblock their writing, find their voice, and heal their lives. Her passion is to support women and men in realizing their true identity as a valued human being, claiming their passions, and speaking their truth as they become their most authentic selves. (Photo by EagleSpirit Soul Shots)