I spent 15 minutes outside the other morning sitting on my sun-drenched, heat-trapping deck, wearing only a sweater over my indoor clothes.
It’s the first time I’ve been able to sit outside since October.
It finally feels like spring on April 4th!
Mind you, my backyard still looks like this…
…but it won’t be long now before the six feet of backyard snow turns into a sloppy mess and then puddles, and then green grass. Oh, I do love spring!
Somehow this winter seemed to feel llll-oooo-nnnn-gggg. Even my dog, Lulu, has spring fever. Yesterday (again) she jumped the fence to visit the neighbour’s dog (that’s how deep the snow is, a little hop and she’s over a four-foot fence).
Remember kathy... this blog is not about spring, it’s about BELIEVING
Oh yes, that’s right, I do have a message here. Okay, so, I don’t know about you, but in March (and continuing on in April so far) there have been a crap-tonne of manifestation challenges. I’ve personally done no less than four and there are another two already this month. Is there some sort of theme going on in my life, do you think? What’s that saying… where your intention goes, energy flows?
Suffice it to say that manifesting is everywhere for me right now.
In my Break Free (from fear) course, we’re moving into the turnaround stage. (I’m two weeks ahead, so I’m there.) The course is set up so that students examine their fears in some detail, then turn their fears around, look at their desires, and take action.
We’ve all been struggling, because, well, it’s hard to hold a mirror up to ourselves and we’re so darn afraid of our own fears that we have all tried pretty much anything we could do to avoid it. But eventually, we are — one by one — experiencing breakthroughs. For me, the breakthroughs have been with the help of guided meditations, tapping (EFT), and doing The Work of Byron Katie.
And, of course, these manifesting challenges…
Worthiness and Manifesting
There is nothing like a manifesting challenge to see painfully clearly how deep unworthiness goes. As I’ve written in the past, I’ve come to believe that Fear is a by-product of believing we are unworthy.
We don’t go after what we want because we’re afraid we’ll prove our unworthiness — again.
In one of the challenges I did, I committed to manifesting 1000+ dollars by April 1st. Did I get that money? NO. Well, unless the lottery tickets that my hubby bought for March 31st and April 1st have hit the motherlode. I did everything that the expert told me to do: I cleared the limiting beliefs (or thought I did), I posted little affirmations everywhere, I changed the password on my computer and the picture on my smartphone all to remind me to focus on manifesting $1000+. But, lurking beneath, even though I wrote out the turnaround affirmations, “Yes, you deserve it!” and “Money can fall from the sky!” I did not believe. So I got zip. Nada. Zero.
Last weekend though, I caught up on 10 days of a manifesting challenge (all in one day!) with Jennifer Trask that really got me thinking. The Day 9 assignment was to look at my relationship with money. Here’s what I discovered:
How do I feel about money?
I'm thinking, as I hold two twonies and a quarter, that money is power and power scares me. I think I've got some past life stuff there. I've been super successful in past lives (a king, prince, and a really wealthy woman that I know of) and I think I have also used it for things that weren't for the highest good in other lives.
How do I treat money?
In this life I don't treat money with respect. For reasons I don't understand, I continually spend it all, I don't save any. And so there is never enough. It's almost like I'm afraid of it. It feels twisted up somehow.
The strange thing is that until I moved from the West to the east coast of Canada, I always believed that money would come. And back then I was always working for someone else. Now, when I do believe that money will come and I am divinely taken care of, it does, but only as much as I need, never a surplus.
Would money want to be my friend?
Yes, I think money would want to be friends with me because money is money and it's there for the purpose of having, giving away, and creating more — in an endless cycle. If I choose to, I could make money like the earth makes water — in an endless supply.
OMG! That's big! An endless supply!
I have to trust that money is in limitless supply and once I believe it, it will be... If I believed it, I wouldn't have to spend it all and then I wouldn’t have to constantly prove to myself I'm worthy of having more.
Holy crap, this is scary stuff to share! But it’s so honest and so vulnerable, I must. I believe it’s one of things that makes storyhealing my Zone of Genius —my willingness to be share my vulnerability — so that you can know its safe to share yours.
My personal turnaround
Okay, so, yes, there was a turnaround here for me. This morning I was going about my business, being extra careful to notice the abundant awesomeness that I asked the Universe to show me this week and BAM! KAPOWIE! Two awesome things in less than a half-hour! Oh, and PLUS, sitting outside in the sun for 15 minutes, drinking super dark and rich coffee while eating a homemade baked donut for breakfast. Hello Awesomeness! (and hello bringing it all together!)
Here’s my Note From The Universe that goes out to over 700,000 people, but was written especially for me today:
The greatest trick and most subtle secret to doing anything really, really well, kathy, is loving that you get to do it at all.
And I'm pleased to say, you get to...
— The Universe
HERE’S WHAT I KNOW TO BE TRUE
And then, I saw this, from an awesome blog that my coach, Sarah Elizabeth Lahoud wrote:
This has been the most challenging bloody lesson I've had to learn so far. I sincerely hope I finally got it because life will keep giving me the same test until I pass it.
Money can fall from the sky – if I allow it.
Yes, dammit — We ALL deserve it! We are ALL worthy.
kathy mercure is a storyhealer, storylistener, and storyteller. Her life’s work is to gently draw stories from her students and help them unblock their writing, find their voice, and heal their lives. Her passion is to support women and men in realizing their true identity as a valued human being, claiming their passions, and speaking their truth as they become their most authentic selves. (Photo by EagleSpirit Soul Shots)