Owning My Inner Queen

Owning my inner queen

It may sound cliché, but I've wanted to be a princess since I was in grade one. Joanie Wilbur's father, who had a very old 8mm camera, came to our classroom to film each of us as he passed by our desks asking, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I couldn't think of anything to — at the tender age of six my big ambition was to learn to read — so when the girl in front of me said she wanted to be a princess, I chose that as my vocation too.

Grade 1 Kathy

I never thought of this childhood memory again as more than a slightly embarrassing example of how challenging I find it to think on my feet.

Until recently.

I belong to a book club and have been reading a couple of books by Caroline Myss, (Sacred Contracts, and Archetypes: A beginner's guide to your inner-net) that delve into archetypes. Everyone has them according to Myss, and understanding our archetypes will help us find our purpose in this life.

Without going into detail, my three main archetypes are Creative (my strongest trait), Caregiver, and Queen. The first two, seem kind of obvious and right to me, I'm a writer, so it would stand to reason that creative would be a dominating factor; and I love to help people, so Carevgiver I can also see.

But the Queen I struggled with. That is, until I read Myss' own comments about how her Inner Queen comes out in the expectation that everything she needs to do her speaking engagements is in place — and if it isn't — heads will roll. That is me. When I believe I'm getting bad service, I get all queenly, puffed up, and royally pissed off. I always feel horrible afterwards for taking my indignant anger out on some poor minion who is only doing her job. Thankfully, I can sometimes step out of myself and apologize before I do too much damage.

owning my inner queen

So, imagine my surprise, when I recently went to see a fellow book club member and friend, Joanne Maillet, to try past-life regression hypnotherapy (you will learn more about Joanne and her work in my next profile). Her method past life regression method begins with finding the subject's most confident life.

I know, I know, everyone who has past lives was someone famous, and apparently I'm not different. As I discovered under hypnosis, I was a King in Portugal in 1746, and 53 years-old.

With a little Wiki research, I discovered there actually was a King in Portugal at the time. John V, was born on October 22, 1689 and died July 31, 1750 at the age of 60. In 1746, he would have been 55 or 56, so not far off. Nicknamed "John The Magnanimous," he was an art and music collector. built a strong Portuguese manufacturing economy, and created royal academies for intellectual pursuits.

In my remembrance of that life, I was a benevolent King, who felt great responsibility to his people. At the time of his life, he was worried about the fragile peace his country enjoyed, because he knew it wouldn't last. My King was an excellent horseman, and a powerfully built man. Contrary to the palace John V built for His Royal Self in Lisbon, in my vision this simple King was sitting under the shade of a willow tree, in a rather simple courtyard.

I will admit it still feels a wee bit uncomfortable to own all this, but I do believe I have a certain Queenly stature. People pay attention to me. When I go to restaurants, I am generally the one asked to approve the wine, or asked if our food is tasting good. And I must say, I like it. I do not like to be forgotten or ignored, and these days I will not accept poor treatment for myself, nor anyone else in my circle. If something happens, I feel a rising tide of indignation move up my spine that causes me to lift myself up, throw my shoulders back, and swell with all the attitude that I possess. God help you, if you piss me off.

This past weekend was my birthday, and it seems all my past and recent experiences and lives have come together and I simply had to have a crown. I actually asked my husband if we could stop in at the dollar store to buy one on the way to his parents pace. I mean really, what better day to embrace your Queenliness than on your birthday? As it turns out, my mother-in-law actually had a crown and I was tickled pink to wear it as I took my place at one of the head ends of the dinner table. It just felt right. And it was so much fun to be Queen!

 Seriously, I am just so excited to wear a crown and be fawned upon, it's a wee bit ridiculous!

Seriously, I am just so excited to wear a crown and be fawned upon, it's a wee bit ridiculous!

So, at the ripe old age of 53, I am hereby decreeing that I embrace my Inner Queen. I've come to the realization it's okay to have expectations and to lean towards the demanding side. I used to be embarrassed when someone called me a Princess or raised their eyebrows over my expectations, but as long as I am the Benevolent Queen most of the time the one who as Myss says takes charge of situations for maximum results, commands centre stage without even trying, looks my best at all times, and uses my influence to empower others I no longer feel the need to tamp it down.

Thankfully,  I have a few friends in my inner court who are brave enough to challenge me when the Shadow Queen tries to take over and she compromises my integrity to maintain Her power.

According to Myss, the true Queen may be charismatic, with a personality that commands respect, but she recognizes her responsibility to others and is motivated by a desire to enhance the well-being of everyone in her realm. The finest qualities associated with royalty are benevolence, generosity, mercy and the power to make things happen for people who are unable to make it happen themselves.

Sounds reasonable to me. And hey, if I get to wear a crown while doing it, we are amused.

simple crown

OMG! OMG! OMG! This clip from The Big Bang Theory (Season 5 Episode 12) perfectly illustrates just how excited I was to wear a tiara! And exactly why I MUST have my own. NOW!

(Thanks to my friend Gisele for pointing it out to me when she read my blog.)